stuck in time; just one moment

note: im writing this in bed
there are moments in our life that are insignificant, and pass us by quickly without us even thinking about it twice. It isnt until someone brings it up that you might remember it.
Then there are those significant moments in life, that might've made a really big impact in your life, or that you thought were great and held on to.
What type of person are you? Are you living in the past or the present ?
I have always been the type of person that holds onto memories (my excuse is cause im sentimental), but what i find is that alot of the time i am living in the past, and i feel a need to compete with myself to form better memories in order to feel achieved. (maybe you think im crazy)
but i realised, that i always am living in my own shadow.
Whcih moment do you linger on ?
For a long time, i couldn't drop my memories of primary school, until something happened that i thought was better... And then i kept that in my mind as what the idea of 'fun' was.
It really reflects upon the way i live. Im the type of person, who as much as id like to deny, likes to hold on and preserve what i already have.
... Except ill probably never truely appreciate what i have at the time, until that moments past.

Point of this all: live in the present, enjoy each moment during it and not after.

A boy with depression.

It was a beautiful sunny day, blue skies with wipsy white clouds lining the sky. Everything seemed to be in a bright, cheerful mood. Even the people smiled more with the pleasing weather. It was the first spring day since three months of the dreary cold weather, although the remnants seem to linger at the shadows. The occassional gust of cold wind reminded us of what we are not to miss.
The only thing not happy seemed to be the one boy, standing alone at the bus stop. Face sullen, he kicked at the pebbles on the ground. 'Everyone seemed to happy, even the weather seemed to shout "HAPPY".' he thought.
Inside his head was another story. A dark, looming plethora of problems seemed to linger at the recesses of his mind, mingling with every aspect of his world.
Nothing seemed normal to him. Countless therapy sessions, talks with his mum and chats with his best friend seemed to do nothing.
A momentary happiness would fight the dark shadows, passing a day without thinking about it. Sometimes, it would only last a few hours. But deep down, he knew that the silence would creep into his soul, stealing the light from inside him.
The shadows were not impatient either. Sometimes, they would let him have a whole week of harmony before slowly seeping back in. Just when he thought he was imagining it all, the darkness would slowly come back. Torment him. Tease him. Reminding him that they were always there in his mind.
No matter how hard he tried to "think past it" or try to change his perspective, none of the things that other people said seemed to work. His own mind had outwitted him, knew all the shortcuts to the game. Everytime he thought around it, so had his mind.

what if..

imagine if we lived in a mute world. no speech. no sounds. only actions.

how different would everything be?

how would we percieve everything?

mm just a thought :)

a beginning of a story

The darm stork clouds were looming in the horizon, slowly devouring what was once a patchless blue sky. Tall grey skyscrapers stretched across the city, casting a shadow amongst the citydwellers. People seemed to bustle about hurriedly, like a swarm of ants in a grass field. Everybody seemed to be unaware of the storm brewing closer towards the city. Businessmen talked on their mobile phones, consumed by their careers. Schoolkids congregated in packs outside 7/11 waiting for their friends whilst talking animatedly. The occassional tourist walked around, seemingly out of place, dressed in slightly unfashionable clothing with a look of amazement on their face.
There was only one person who seemed to notice the dark gathering mass in the distance.
Sandra flicked her jet black hair back, eyeing the cloud suspiciously. There was something strange, she thought. It just didn't feel right, yet she was unsure why. Putting on her heavy backpack, she walked towards the familiar green and orange sign. All her friends were already standing outside waiting for her, and she couldn't help but feel a little joy.
"Hey Sandra, what took you so long?" asked Tanya impatiently. "Uhh, nothing. Just late," replied Sandra.