Awww sheittt...

A cold sense panic washes over you as beads of sweat starts forming around your forehead. Your surroundings seem to swirl around you in a light blur as you frantically look around you. Your pulse is racing, your heart is thumping and the adrenalin is rushing through your veins.

'FUUUUU**', you think.

'WHERE DID I LEAVE IT?'

As you continue to frantically search for your missing item, it's nowhere to be seen and you try to recollect when you last saw it. But you don't have a single clue.

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Does that moment ever happen to you?

Because it happens to me all the time, like the time I thought I lost my mobile.

Also the time I thought I lost the price list of clothes at work.

Anyways, my work is reputedly the easiest job out there where I just have to endure the hardships of walking two minutes from home to the local shopping centre, then sitting for another 8.5 hours in front of the computer where I go on Facebook, go on Tetris and do some homework. Occassionally, people do come in and buy stuff but most of the time I'm extremely free.

This would be one of those times, but I just had that moment where I thought I lost something at work and freak out because it's only me and the boss who work here ... so it's extremely obvious when I fuck up.

(Like the time I stepped on a shelf and broke it)

Shh. The name of the store will now remain anonymous (but it is of a very trendy nature).

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And onto the second topic of the day.... publicly stacking it...

I don't usually see it happen to other people but I experience it on an almost daily basis.

For the inexperienced, it's probably awkward and you feel embarassed right?

I think I take it that step further of awkwardness when I start laughing to myself after and walk off as if it didn't happen

What is the smoootthest way to respond to this situation?

H8 LYF BRO

Lately I've just been studying all day and night, days on end without doing anything else.

Leads to emotional and physical deterioration because I end up feeling like this everyday:

At some point or another I'll stop procrastinating on TetrisBattle (because in Tetris, there is no time for friendship so screw you TetrisFriends, no).

For the meantime, I'll continue listening to this:

Relevance only remains until the part where he doesn't give a fuck

I DONT GIVE A CHAINSAWWWW (watch the video to understand)

No time for blogging anymore though I've had so much time (procrastination time) to think about interesting topics

Things I envy (sort of)..

Just a note, I haven't written here for ageeeeeeees and mostly I felt inspired to write because I creepily stalked someone else's blog and thought .. Oh cool, I should update mine too. (Little does this person know).

Anyways, this is a general list of things that I wish I had (or more just in general things I lack):

1) Body heat

In winter, my hands and feet and whole body is like a giant frozen ice block. I don't get how other people can still wear shorts/skirts/short sleeved shirts or go clubbing in some super skanky outfit. I am forced to wear at least 3 layers (the outer layer being a fobby snow jacket). I walk to uni in the morning and seriously do not see anyone wearing more than me...........

This is what I imagined myself wearing..

That's what I wear...

2) A sense of humor
I'm pretty glad I'm not a guy, or else I'd never get girls with my amazing sense of humor.......
i.e. "Hey want some Sprite?" ........ "Jokes it's water"

3) People who don't get Asian flush

"What do you mean I've been drinking?"

4) A mysterious, cool aura
Like those people who just seem so stoned yet alluring with their mysterious personality. How do they get such a ceebs-to-talk-to-you-cause-I'm-too-cool confidence from?

5) People who can stay awake during sleepovers
At every camp, even when I try to stay awake I just HAVE to fall asleep. I'm like that kid who's asleep in the corner whilst everyone's having a mad D&M sesh. ZZZZZZZ coffeeeeeeeee

To be added to....... when I think of more things.

A snapshot of one moment

Jane exhaled contently, feeling the breeze against her face as the gentle hum of the motor formed part of the background noise. She felt straight out of a movie, feeling so carefree without a single worry in the world. For now, she just wanted to put down all the problems of the world and enjoy the moment in front of her.

The gentle sunset set up a perfect scene as the car continued driving up the hill. The sight of illuminated lights in the distance, Jane admired the beauty of such simplicity. Maybe others drove past this scene everyday without ever looking beyond the motorway. An unnoticed beauty amongst the dense concentration of factory buildings.

Sometimes, she felt it was moments like this that she could think back to. When she felt so comfortable being herself, away from everyone else. Away from the harsh realities.. She let herself dream of all the possibilities.

What would it feel like to step out of her daily routine. What would it feel like being someone else for a day, or just be somewhere else in the world.

Create

What's an ideal like?

Step 1: Choose a physique
Muscular/lean, tall/short, long hair/short hair, fringe/no fringe, cute smile/sexy smirk..

Step 2: Add a colour
White, black, yellow, pink.. endless possibility

Step 3: Add a personality
Nice/dickhead, gangster/good, likes sport/likes gaming, sociable/quiet, confident/shy

Out of a shadow of a person, create someone based on fragments of distorted knowledge. Just like a faceless silhouette, you're now an idealisation.

entertainment purposes

I've never personally experienced the feeling of 'Hsc is the best year ever... especially with your year group being the only one you'll ever have to spend 6 years with....' rahrahrah feeling yet :P I find that just a load of bull, hsc is not exactly the best year ever! And here is why:

1. Sleeping over 8 hours is almost impossible.... Unless you are cutting into the expense of study time.
2. Everything you do that isn't study will make you feel guilty
3. You do the shit anyways, so now you are constantly guilty
4. The 'fun' in your life now consists of eating, watching an offensive amount of online videos and sleeping
5. Things that never interested you before are now distracting you... Purely for procrastination like reading facebook groups and liking them
6. You either always eat because that means 'break time' or you routinely check the fridge for possible food
7. Having 'a life' seems like a while ago
8. Your best friend is your 4unit text book
9. Your real best friend is actually ... Your calculator
10. You know you're getting pretty fat
11. You feel stressed all the time
12. If you don't feel stressed, you feel guilty
13. If you feel neither, you feel strange about not feeling anything
14. The people of the opposite gender seem somewhat more attractive , even though you know they're actually not hot

and my personal fave past time:

15. I create scenarios in my head to entertain myself.

;) toodles. Time to sleep

The obssession with love

Many people have an obsession with love, or what they believe to be love. Some search for the prince charming, some look for a soul mate, some seek someone else who may complete them. But is this entirely possible? And if so, what is the magic answer to finding this so called 'the one'?

Unfortunately, I don't think 'the one' just pops out in front of you, just like that. There is no secret formula for procuring someone who exactly fits your tastes , and hey let's admit it maybe you're not exactly what someone else had in mind anyways (yes, that starcraft addiction, or constant drama watching may not be the most attractive quality)... But luckily, if you are patient, you may possibly find someone that will like you.

After that, life is easy! Cruising through, dating, no hassle... Right?

Wrong!

Even when you've got lucky, found yourself a nice boy/girl who has an interest in you, you are now faced with maintaining a level of interest in each other that might possibly land you in a relationship. On this path of true love, nothing can stop you from wanting this person, thinking about them, being a helpless romantic and acting like a fool... All because you're in loooooveee! Yes!! Finally!

So, here goes the big moment.

"So uh.. do you wanna be my girlfriend?" you ask. She blushes slightly, looking away shyly at first .. But then smilingly, she nods her head. "Yes", she whispers.

YESSSS screams your head. You are delirious, you've found her, caught her, hook, line and sinker! Only awesomeness from now, yes?

No.

You, my keen player, in this game of love, is only cruising through 'free parking' in Monopoly. Nothing could be better! You guys are going out holding hands, maybe even a little smoochy smoochy.

Nothing ever goes wrong in this period, until the 'Go directly to jail, do not pass GO' card smacks you in the face. Fast forward 6 months, 1 year. 2 years if you're lucky when the original sparks have died down, and you guys are used to each other.

She no longer makes you excited. That starcraft addiction never really died, and you wouldn't mind playing it instead of going on a date. Everything seems only ordinary, and disagreements are no longer an "occassional" thing.

You are stuck in the abyss of normality that you cannot escape from. You don't feel a particular tendency to want to change it either.

This my friend, is the time you should reflect back on your original intentions, aspirations, hope... Or possibly even love.

Ask yourself. Do you really love her?

1. Do you honestly care for her?
2. Does your heart ache when you hear shes sad?
3. Do you stil feell warm or happy when she smiles at you?
4. Do you still feel the enthusiasm you did for her at the start?
5. Do you think about whats good for her, and not you?
6. Would you give up doing the things, or talking to the people that she doesn't want you to, just to make her happy.
7. Was she worth your last (however long you've been dating) days?
8. Do you ever regret getting together with her?
9. Do you even need to ponder on these questions
10. Can you live without her?

If you're hesitating, maybe your should reconsider whether you really love this girl despite all the time you've spent with her.

Because to me, a love that is selfless, unbreakable and yielding despite the hardest times is one that is worthy of my time and dedication. I say, if you cannot dedicate yourself to me, I cannot do the same to you.

Love is pure, but when muddied by intentions that darken the waters... Such as selfishness, greedyness, jealously, lust for lust's sake... The love is tainted and no longer pure.

Love for the sake of loving. Hurt may be inevitable, maybe it'll take a few times to find your one.

But when you do, I hope you can hold on and be brave, and not give up at slight hiccups along the way. Only when you have faith may you begin to truely love and appreciate someone.

PS. Sorry the end got corny. Clearly I got into a pondering rather than trying to entertain.